Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006
Celibacy has nothing to do with holiness and celibacy gives no power; on the contrary, it creates a conflict within you because you are trying to fight with your own energy. It weakens you. Your own power becomes divided; and a house divided against itself cannot be powerful. And it was because of celibacy that tantra was born in India — which is just a revolution, a rebellion against Hinduism.”
Celibacy is one of the most unnatural things. It has destroyed so many human beings — millions — Catholic monks, Hindu monks, Buddhist monks, Jaina monks, nuns. For centuries they have been teaching celibacy; and the most amazing thing is, even in the twentieth century, not a single medical expert, physiologist, has stood up and said that celibacy is impossible, that in the very nature of things, it cannot happen.
To impose celibacy means to pervert the sexual energy of man. It is celibacy that has created homosexuality. It is celibacy that has created sodomy. Perhaps you don’t understand the word “sodomy”; it is making love to animals. And, finally, it is celibacy which has brought humanity to experience the great joy of AIDS. I call AIDS a religious disease. It has been created by all the religions.
Nobody ever has been celibate, whatever the pretensions; you can only be a hypocrite. But your sexual energy will find ways to move — it is natural.
Celibacy is as natural as somebody taking a vow that he will not allow his hair to grow. What are you going to do? Is it within your hands?”
“Celibacy is not something to be practiced, it is not something to be rehearsed, it is not something to be imposed on you by any method, any effort, any doing. Celibacy comes when sex disappears on its own accord. Certainly the word `celibacy’ has tremendous meaning in my sense.
But the misunderstanding was that seeing the mystical people rejoicing and dancing and singing and their eyes and their faces and their charismatic pull, people started repressing sex, thinking it is sex that is preventing them from knowing higher realms of being.
There lies the great misunderstanding.”Never enforce any celibacy on yourself. Try to understand what sexuality is, go deep into it. It has a tremendous beauty of its own. It is one of the profoundest mysteries of life. Life comes out of it — it has to be a great mystery. Sex is not sin; repression is a sin. Sex is very natural, very spontaneous. You have not done anything to have it, it is inborn, it is part of your being. Don’t condemn it, don’t judge it, don’t fear it, don’t fight with it. Simply go into it more — more meditatively. Let it happen in such silence, in such deep acceptance, that you can know the very core of it. The moment you penetrate to the very core of sexual orgasm you will see sex is losing its appeal for you, your energy is moving in a higher plane, you are becoming more loving and less sexual. And this happens spontaneously.
PS: Please have safe sex, & great sex. Avoid Irresponsible behaviour towards your loved ones. First step towards curing AIDS is prevention.
Love and lots of it dear ones
Suresh
What a blessing to my senses. And postive upbeat words to boot. Thank you so much.
Hmm.
I have been celibate for periods of time because that energy was re-channeled to healing non-sexually. By that I mean that sex is healing; I needed that energy otherwise. It has astounded people that I went 4 years without sex. And, I go without this energy exchange often. With that said, I am not asexual by any means and therein can lay my struggle. To be in your own sexuality does not require other. To be in your own life force does not ask for another. In fact, to be in your sexuality and your life force without another brings self-empowerment, awareness, and self-knowledge based on my experiences.
I do not believe imposed celibacy can create anything unless it is from a place of awareness and seeking. Meaning, if I am celibate and do not dive into what is me and mine, I will learn nothing.
As I read this, I sense your response is also to how religion can view sex and sometimes (in my opinion) distort it. I think.
I do think that since celibacy is not being “imposed” on me I have the freedom to un-impose it at any time that it can distort.
Some of your views contrast with mine. I do not believe that lack of sex, or imposed celibacy is the cause of homosexuality. I believe the mere fact that such sexuality exists tells us that it is real. That is was not created from compression. Is it the norm? No. Things that are not the norm can scare us. I scare people because I am not the norm. I did not set out to do this; I only focus on being the best me I can.
You state that celibacy has created AIDS. I have no way of connecting with this statement, possibly you could expand?
For me, the charismatic dancing IS sex. It is an expression of the life force that is our sexuality, interesting statement about confusion thus celibacy.
I only have an impression of tantra and have known a friend whose lover initiated it. She was unsure.
I wonder at your topic. We all have our own heritage and what we bring to any given moment. I do not think we share some aspects of this topic.
What I do appreciate is your expression of what matters to you.
Thank you,
Kim
i heard from scriptures and saints that by losing semen through sex,masturbation one becomes weak,ugly n failure is on him?but it seems utterly false in yodays world, as people do sex daily n lose semen like anything.please say why this is contradictory?
people have fallen prey to lust nowadays…..everything that we do is a karma…..when you go to a forest you find a fruit ..you will not know if it is sweet or not until u taste it… similarly celibacy… follow it for some time and decide what is rite…we are going towards destruction just because of this loss of semen….practice it and you will find peace but the observations should be microscopic…..
people have fallen prey to lust nowadays…..everything that we do is a karma…..when you go to a forest you find a fruit ..you will not know if it is sweet or not until u taste it… similarly celibacy… follow it for some time and decide what is rite…we are going towards destruction just because of this loss of semen….
I think it is better to see sex in only utilitarian terms, because if you look at US today, how many have HIV, AIDS, and other STDs that ruin lives so early in life. This view I have aquired is partly due to a conservative upbringing, but more because of no libido, an inability to maintain sexual attraction (“crushes”) in others, and the fact that sex, drugs, and all that other nonsense never played any real part of my life till senior year and college, when I hanged out with the school sluts, gays, whores, and slut lookalikes. The bueaty was that we always joked about sex and such, but they never pressured me to break my virginity.
PS I know most ppl would disagree with me, but I live and let live…I know my peers will have sex regardless, as long as I don’t know about the details.
Dear Suresh Gundappa,
Perchance I happened to Visit your blog through some link in another blog, which I’ve forgotten…(I’ll find out someday shortly & will update you) But good that I clinged on to yours
I do agree with your phrase:
“Celibacy comes when sex disappears on its own accord.”
True when we grow higher and higher in the ladder of Spirituality all habits, of its own accord drop off like withered leaves; instead of suppression we can sublimate our desires of sexuality and can be in peace & attain holiness. And sex disappears when we grow to accept Sexuality as normal & natural to being HUMAN. Celibacy does not find place anywhere near to HOLINESS but only in the pervert minds of some stupid eggheaded people who cannot really see the Beauty of being Human & outgrowing that Naturally…
Well on the say of the scriptures it was just meant to be a pointer to the fact that it is not the only thing one should be engaged in all our being instead consider it as normal & outgrow such passion & desire by living with it; but not at any time Overdoin’ it!
I hope the secretion of semen & losing out energy was another way of stressing this point of not concentrating our valuable time & energy on only sex. Instead adopting more creative expressions of being would add up to our attainment of Holiness or ideas alike & pursuing things of Higher order. They tend to weaken us not physically but mentally when we are engaged in only sexual pursuits we’ll not be able to concentrate on higher things.
I do agree with Kim who says:
“I do not believe imposed celibacy can create anything unless it is from a place of awareness and seeking. Meaning, if I am celibate and do not dive into what is me and mine, I will learn nothing.”
Good thought flow. Also Suresh TANTRA did not become an alternate to the present Hinduism but was a more difficult approach to divinity, well before the idea of Hinduism.
I say:
“Nothing Imposed ever leads us to Liberation, it is in Freedom of expression that we learn & outgrow such limitations of being.”
Thanks for opening us to such beautiful ideas & a healthy debatable post. As Kristine Comments: “postive upbeat words to boot”
With Lots of
LOVE & LIGHT
O
This is amazing. What were you thinking when you wrote this: “Nobody ever has been celibate.”
…
… um…
…
… (rubs chin)
…
- I am gobsmacked by this claim, because unless you have a very special definition of the word “celibate,” then it would seem as ridiculous and obviously wrong as if I said there has never been a human who didn’t, I don’t know, ever have sex. Like, none of those several millions of monks and nuns you mentioned. Or maybe your definition of sex includes masturbation in any form. I’d like to know how you can be sure that no human has ever lived a full (as in, not dying before reaching age… 30) without sex.
Or this one:
“Celibacy is as natural as somebody taking a vow that he will not allow his hair to grow. What are you going to do? Is it within your hands?””
Ugh, bad analogy. Hair grows by itself, sex is a more complex action, and you have to put some effort into getting and having sex – unlike hair. I would like to think that I do not have sex as my hair grows; that I have more control over myself than that!
I agree that celibacy is one of the most unnatural things. Actually, I think it’s the absolutely most unnatural phenomenon possible, maybe aside from outright suicide. But I don’t place any significance in “nature,” or what is considered normal, or what our instincts/DNA would urge us to behave like.
. And there’s sooo many things to rebel against by not having sex. A small sampling:
I don’t see celibacy as I do it as a means to anything spiritual, more like a rebellion
1) My sexually active peers (who bullied me in school and made me the… person I am today),
2) Feminism (roll your eyes at my inborn, perverted desires and sigh “Men…” for the hundredth time, bashing “mankind” for sex-fixation for over four decades now),
3) Capitalism (I walk by this big poster on a solarium every day with this pretty woman, in a bikini, looking like absolute bliss, reaching downwards with her hands, downwards, down… absolutely *infuriating* commercial tactics…),
4) DNA (because I don’t like being manipulated by my DNA, and especially not when it gives me this annoying cognitive dissonance in conjunction with the rest of the world) I know this part is especially irrational, but realising apparently doesn’t heal on it’s own.
5) Every and anybody who thinks there’s something “special” about the big L.U.V.
And on that last note:
“It has a tremendous beauty of its own.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t see anything especially beautiful about copulating.
See, that’s how easy I can ruin your beautiful, saying “copulate” instead of sex, or “making love” (now that’s beautiful). “Fucking” isn’t very beautiful, is it?
Well it’s pleasurable, I think we can all agree on that. I find lots of things pleasurable, or nice in a variety of levels, but using the word “beautiful” outside of a visually aesthetically pleasing contexts seems a bit like using it as a newspeek plus-positive word, destroying the English language like a rapper.
How can sex have beauty in and off itself, when homosexuality is such an abomination, and rape and incest even worse? Isn’t that also sex, or have you twisted your definition around to “something beautiful between a man and a woman”?
“It is one of the profoundest mysteries of life.” Again; gobsmacked. And that’s because I dare not use more colourful vocabulary.
“Life comes out of it — it has to be a great mystery.” I wonder if you ever had biology, or if they just taught you “intelligent design”. I could tell you about sperms and eggs if you’d like.
“Sex is not sin” I agree, I see nothing sinful about it.
“repression is a sin.” Now I *don’t* agree, or rather, I don’t see why. Isn’t it our own choice whether to have sex or not? If you are the victim of prolonged, paedophile abuse, are you still obligated to ignore your past, traumatic experiences and have sex?
Wait, are you telling me that *I* am obligated to go out and have sex, even if I know by myself that I don’t want to? (I don’t want to)
If so: FUCK YOU MISTER! Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to do or not to do with MY life?
@AlsoSprachOdin:
As a neutral 3rd party i.e. another reader, I thought I’d share my observation that your comments for example “that I have more control over myself than that!” and “(I don’t want to)” etc along with the last line seems to exactly prove the point of the original post.
And hope you didn’t miss this line…
Hi Dear Readers,
I am known as Nilamani, 23, male
I am very glad to say that I am trying my best to become a celibate. Now I am in the vow of celibacy and going to continue for a year to see its heavenly effect. Because of celibacy I am significantly healthy than any of my friends, not subject to hair fall and other such diseases. Not only that through celibacy you can feel an entirely different sensation which will give sweetness in your breathe, your face will glow like that of an innocent child and you will become perfect to achieve the higher realms of life.
Friends, if you have belief in our age old scriptures, if you believe our ancestors who have spent their entire life in forests in search of truth, follow their path of life. They have prescribed Celibacy as a means of life. It is not a choice but a compulsion. You can find the difference.
Going blindly with the flow of river is easy and meaningless, try going against it, be a celibate and experience the new world.
I can firmly say that the modern science is not developed enough to recognize the importance of celibacy.
The much said about celibacy is not enough to express the real benefit of it. It can only be experienced.
celibacy is one of the most beautifull and holistic way of healing our ignorant nature. if you cannot control your drive for sexual act, you could better indulge in it and please stop providing wrong information to the other people about celibacy. u are by no means greater than people like swmi sivananda and others who had said that ssex is most unnatural.. i agree with one of my friends who said that it is more than suicide…
For me, celibacy has been a wonderful, calming, grounding experience. I feel my friendships more fully. I feel more relaxed and I feel much more self-respect.
The original post refers to ‘imposed celibacy’. I’m not one to support anything imposed on others, but if one chooses to live a life in which things are imposed, then it must be good for him. So, live and let live.
But to say that celibacy is unnatural and unhealthy across the board is imposing your values on others. PLease don’t judge me (inaccurately) for my choices. I, like you, make my choices because they are the best for me right now. That I choose to take care of myself deserves nothing but respect.
I, personally, see the world as a place in which most folks are glazed over by sex-addiction. To abstain is to break free of that grasp, to look beyond it and create a value system that does not cater to notions that would keep one asleep – as in men are genetically predisposed to their behaviour. To me that is the same as being comatose. You’ve given up any sense of personal responsibility and power. For me, that is the saddest and most vulnerable state humankind could enter. Those are the sleepy minds that are laying the foundation for our future.
That having been said, I still say, live and let live. We each have to forge our own path. My hope, though, is that most paths will come to shake off the grip of adrenaline rush, slow down and allow a bigger, deeper love to emergy from a more fertile soil – one from which the label ‘friend’ is truly earned and once gained, is honoured for a lifetime. From there sprouts the healthy global community.
Peace,
VV