Denying Orgasm to Woman – Conspiracy of Centuries !
Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006
I always wondered about attitude of society, religion towards Female Orgasm. The more I think about it more I am convinced that this has been a Master conspiracy of Centuries . Priests,Churches,temples, politicians and men hand in hand has worked together to deny woman possibility of Bliss. Liberation in sex has implications on its own. Slowly I see woman responding this conspiracy.
Why is this happening? Why all over the world do men suppress women in such a way? There is fear – because once a woman’s body becomes possessed, it is very difficult for a man to satisfy her; because a woman can have chain orgasms; a man cannot have. Any woman can have at least three orgasms in a chain, but man can have only one. And with a man’s orgasm the woman is aroused and is ready for further orgasms.Then it is difficult. Then how to manage it!. She needs another man immediately, and group sex is a taboo. All over the world we have created monogamous societies. We seem to feel that it is better to suppress the woman.So, really, 80% to 90% of women never know what orgasm is.They can give birth to children; that is another thing. They can satisfy the man; that is also another thing. But they themselves are never satisfied.
So if you see such bitterness in women all over the world – sadness, bitterness, frustration – it is natural.
Orgasm is a tremendous gift of nature. Man is deprived and because he is so quick in making love, the woman is deprived. The woman needs time to warm up. Her whole body is erotic, and unless her whole body is throbbing with joy, she will not be able to experience orgasm, for that there is no time. So for millions of years women have been completely denied their birthright. That’s why they have become so bitchy, so continuously nagging, and always ready to fight. There is no possibility of having a conversation with a woman. You are living with a woman for years, but there is not a single conversation that you can recall, when you were both sitting together, talking about great things of life. No, all that you will remember will be fighting, throwing things, being nasty.
The woman is not responsible for it. She is being deprived of her whole possibility of blissfulness. Then she becomes negative and this has given chance to the priests. All the churches and the temples are filled up with women, because they are the losers more than men are. Man’s orgasm is local. His whole body is not erotic. So his whole body does not suffer if there is no orgasmic experience, but the woman’s whole body suffers. it’s not accidental most of the priests, religious leaders are men. the biggest followers of all religions across the world are Women.
It is good business for religions. Unless people are psychologically suffering, they will not come to the churches. They will not listen to all kinds of idiotic theologies. Because they are suffering, they want some consolation. They want some hope at least after death. In life they know there is no hope; it is finished. This gives a chance to religions to show to men and women both that sex is absolutely futile. It has no meaning, no significance. You are unnecessarily losing your energy, wasting your energy. Their argument seems to be correct, because you have never experienced anything. So by preventing the orgasmic experience religions have made men and women slaves.
Orgasm relaxes every fibre of your mind, your heart, and your body. It is immensely important for meditation that the person has the experience of orgasm. Then you can make him understand what meditation is. It is an orgasmic experience with the whole of existence. Orgasm can be so beautiful, so beneficial, and so healthy, with a single human being; meditation is getting into oneness with the whole that surrounds you, from the smallest blade of grass to the biggest star, millions of light years away.
People talk about lesbianism, vibrators at length at indoors ( read Pubs, Mens Clubs!). Trust me for woman this is for more serious issue. She is finding in woman partners the platform for understanding her body and emotions. Lesbianism is not by accident! . Men have contributed equally to this phenomena. Dependency on man to achieve sexual satisfaction is gone!. Once this dependency is gone you see new revolution taking place. Women are already financially Independent. You really do not need a husband to make you pregnant!, Now If dependency of Orgasm is gone. Then you see equal footage of rights happening.
The future will have a totally different vision of sex. It will be more fun, more joy; more friendship, more a play than a serious affair as it has been.
On a Serious(!!) note, I recommend during marriage – every priest should ask a question ” Are you committed to give your wife Orgasm? Unless Groom says yes “I do every-time” – Marriage should not happen!
Love and lots of it dear ones
Suresh
One solution to the problem of men not satisfying the women in terms of multiple orgasms is found in foreplay. It is possible to satisfy your partner building up to intercourse. treating that as the icing on the cake as it were.
It depends a lot on your willingness to please your partner and your generosity as an individual.
there are other methods for men to please women when the men have had their own orgasms. Provided the men are not too selfish to share..
Before committing to something as enduring as marriage, really try to understand your partner. if they are selfish in other areas of their lives.. they are likely to sustain this through the bedroom…
playingwithintent
September 12, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Wow! I am still wet with your Website. What a site! Tell me are you making sure your boyfriend/Husband is readinng this article? Hope you are lucky to have a Glimpse of this orgasm. may be you should ask your hubby/boyfriend to write articles for men.
I am feeling like bashing up couple of my old Bang – bang boyfriends.
Is it legal to make agreement about orgasm in Marriage as you suggested? I am going to have fun with couple of my future husbands.
On a serious note, You are one of the finest woman writers I have come across. So much sensitivity and love in your writings!. Your photos are out of this world. Oh before I forget How about world woman’s orgasm day? we can make it religious too.! heheheheh
Melany gibbs
September 12, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Melany – thanks a lot for your kind note! I do not have husband or boyfriend unfortunately!
No no no…..I am not a saint writing this blog. You have just confused my gender. I am Mr. suresh ( in other words MALE!) and I Have tremedous interest in women. I am not gay yet!
Thanks once again! As for as World Womans orgasm day! I suggest we celebrate it everyday!
I am sure my dear friend Debbie( Samgail-Check my blogroll) will throughly enjoy your comments at my expense!
Suresh Gundappa
September 12, 2006 at 3:35 pm
What a photo! I am not able to decide whether you are better photgrapher or writer? You have great photos on your web. Really a gift to be surrounded by so much beauty
Shanthi
September 12, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Prostitution is a result of man’s incapability to have continuous sex. What do you say? Great blog. Your words are very powerfull and You speak with lot of confidence. Your photos are incredible. You should put your profile on the right side of the blog.
Annie
September 12, 2006 at 4:35 pm
This is utter bullshit. All you woman writers feel good about writing bitchy things about men. what about you? How Many times you have made effort teach orgasm! don’t show your frustration on every man. Hypocratic writing misleaded by some good photos.
William rayon
September 12, 2006 at 4:43 pm
William, I think you just missed reading my reply to Melany. I also belong to same Hypocratic men species! thanks for your time and effort. I really appreciate you stoping by.
Suresh Gundappa
September 12, 2006 at 4:48 pm
What is your backround suresh? Are you by any chance psychiatrist? your writing shows deep experience of human emotions.
I am a practicing Psyciatrist from LA. I found your insights and your way of looking at things extremely inspiring. I face lot of these issues with my clients everyday. I look at your fresh approach to life and feel I have lot to learn before I continue practicing.
Where can I can get framed photographs? I would like to keep couple of them at my clinic.
Greg dakota
September 12, 2006 at 5:03 pm
” Wagabond, Gypsy, In search of stillness, Management consultant, investment banker, Gardener, Cook, father, husband, Lover, friend, Musician, Meditation teacher, Table tennis player, Photographer” – this is what I am
My whole effort thru this site is to give you a glimpse of silence thru my photos!
Greg I am not Psychiatrist by Background or profession. However I have deep interest in human Mind!.
Let me know which photos you like I will send them to you . You can get it printed. Feel free to share it with friends.
Thanks a lot for your kind comments
Suresh Gundappa
September 12, 2006 at 5:08 pm
I want to start my response with noting a book I read called The Evolution of Desire and with a comment my friend (a man) made once. The book addresses the history of desire and its evolution and does indicate hope for humans and their sexual relations. My friend stated that: “Evolution has backed men into a corner. We are compelled towards completion.” It made sense to me.
What also makes sense to me is that based on my experience as a human being we have the ability to think, assess, understand, and choose. This is where conflict comes and I would hope creation also. We have the ability to change, alter, and influence our behaviour. We can choose this. And this is where I think we sit in this sexual historical moment.
There is also the historical relationship of “religion” to sexuality and that could be a book series! Let me metamorphose my impression of sexual history: Contradictory, powerful, embracing, fantastical, patriarchal, matriarchal, exuberant, morbid, hidden, repressed, and expressed. Study religion, go B.C. also and we have quite the story here.
Biology has its own tale. (See Evolution of Desire)
My sense of women and their sexuality is that indeed, we have been unhappy campers but then we have also been ignorant campers. Orgasm has a procreation purposes, the spasms pull the sperm in. So, we find sex viewed as utilitarian and women the vessel for future children, a major impetus for sex. But, again, we think, we love; we experience spirit with our sexuality.
Once I asked an anthropology teacher why men held the door for women: He said, “Women have babies.” I stood there stunned. It made sense.
Again, shall we stay here? I am 46 and have no children and nor will I. I am a sexual being with desires, a full life force, and not asexual. I believe if we start to understand honestly our sexual roots then move to what we want the two will create a new reality. This would mean men would re-assess what sex and sexuality are to them if they are still in impetus mode.
Men and women are equally sexual. Men and women are completely different sexually. Biology the coyote trickster! Yet, again, we have the ability to choose. I can count on one hand how many times I have had an orgasm with a man. This is not finger pointing, it is hard, and guess what? I feel useless guilt that I can not meet his pace. Duh? I can talk the talk but not walk it apparently! It is hard, eh? For all of us.
“Orgasm is a tremendous gift of nature. “
“It is an orgasmic experience with the whole of existence”
I have heard orgasm called the little death. When we orgasm we are no longer ourselves; we loose identity in that moment; we indeed are part of something larger than just our personality, body, thoughts. Who would not want that? When I am exercising and having orgasms, I do not need anti-depressants. Yea, think about that one!
Suresh and I disagree on sexuality when it comes to homosexuality, so I need not comment on this. Interesting though, Suresh. Have you studied the history of homosexuality? Just a thought, not an attempt to change you in any way, I promise!
I think a more accurate statement about pregnancy would be that women do not need a relationship with a man to get pregnant. I could have made that choice but for me, spiritually, it was the wrong one. For other women, it is not.
I find sex playful and fun within the context of intimacy. I am not a casual person on any level organically. I have also considered how women approach sex and we do this knowing we can become pregnant. I think this must influence who we choose and how we approach the moment. When I make comments like this I am only generalizing! I have known women quite different from this generalization.
And, on a final note, I have been challenged in having an orgasm by myself. This puts one to thinking. And my thinking came to two conclusions: 1) I need to free my mind and 2) Who wants to do it alone all the time!?!??!
Thank you Suresh for a wonderful essay.
Kim
kimtelas
September 12, 2006 at 7:19 pm
Thank you Kim , You have been really kind to me. Peace to you
Suresh Gundappa
September 12, 2006 at 7:22 pm
Well said. And a reasonable point of view. There is more to be said. First, I believe that sexual satisfaction is SIGNIFICANT for both parties involved as a means of getting to know one another like you know the back of your hand. Whether this be man/woman, woman/woman, man/man.
Who of us knows every scar, the wrinkles, the creases, the age spots, peeling cuticle on one finger, the hair on the knuckles.
Knowing the curve of the hip bone,the dimple on the left ass cheek, or hair at the base of the spine, the sensitve throat or belly button, jaw, inner elbow or maybe even a toe. These are places that are to be worshipped through the five senses. ALL FIVE! Not two, not one, not three…but all five. Getting to know the body of your partner should be paramount to one anothers satisfaction. Devotion to one another’s well being…is learned over more than mere minutes spent together screwing.
And if any one is at fault…well, why blame. It might be more matriarchal now than it was four hundred years ago. But isn’t this up to at least one of two people to initiate the education of what an orgasm is/does…for both parties. (ancient rites, coming of age, and respect for the wise and elderly have been lost to greed, money and search for what isn’t real)
One last note…the freedom to choose who your partner is, and HOW the two of you express your LOVE and DEVOTION is what I believe may be the real TRUTH in SPIRITUAL teachings, and religion that offers…celibacy. I don’t think it should be required. But rather employed as a means of self expression. I think of Mother Theresa here.
A toast, here,,,here…to those who have achieved that blissfull moment.
Crying and laughter equate to the same chemical and hormone releases…and you can do either of these while having great orgasms. So more power to anyone that choose the high road and says…teach me and I will teach you. Therein one might find real love, acceptance…and the true gift of NURTURING.
Now if we women bothered to teach men to slow down and use their God given senses instead of always being urged out the door to bring home the bacon… but who wanted the bacon to begin with. All it boils down to is fear. Fear of not having because we don’t get the attention we really need? Hmmm.
I’d prefer an orgasm over Gucci or Pradda any day.
What are we really afraid of? Loss. Aloneness. Void. Emptiness. So we avoid, reject any thing that resembles that space if filled that might once again empty…leading to loss, leading to pain.
Or at least I have.
Kristine
September 12, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Kristine,
Sing it baby!
Excellent…
Kim
kimtelas
September 12, 2006 at 8:01 pm
And Kim…we, really wierd, look like sisters. Who’s your Mom? Dad? Link me up to a site with photos.
Kristine
September 12, 2006 at 8:07 pm
Wow, that is the most unusual response to a post I have ever received Kristine!
I am a Smith, my father’s family is deep south, Alabama, and my mother’s is Connecticut, Trumbull.
I do not have a way to hook you up to photos, I am not that, um, web savvy, or something!
Hmmm.
Get back to you on that.
Take care,
Kim
kimtelas
September 12, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Suresh,
Ahhhhhhhhh! You do have a way with words, my friend!
As you so predicted, it was assumed you MUST be a woman to write so descriptively of the pleasures woman seek, desire, and deserve. I think that reaction alone is quite revealing in that some women aren’t experiencing the ultimate “blissfulness” so you may be on to something. It would have been interesting to see more comments before you revealed your gender, ay?
Like most things we encounter on this journey called life, there are differences in each person we meet along the way. A good man would enjoy exploring the hidden pleasures with time and skill, possibly discovering places she never knew pleased her, after all women are as unique in their bodies as they are in their minds. Ideally in a perfect world, it should be the goal of both male and female to satisfy each other every time they make love.
But back to the ladies………….. I agree that it’s an overall experience of understanding her body’s needs combined with her emotional desires. Men don’t always know these things, sadly enough. Maybe if more could read your eloquent descriptions and words of wisdom, you’d see a few more smiling women out there.
This is one of your finest pieces, Suresh.
Keep speaking out on behalf of women everywhere!
Peace!
Gracie
September 12, 2006 at 11:38 pm
I found you through a friend of mine – night panther. What a beautiful blog, not only visibly pleasing with such wonderful photogrpahs and such interesting reading.
Nicola
September 13, 2006 at 1:17 am
Thank you – Kim, Kristine, Gracie, Nicola. I am drunk with your afffection and writing. Love and bliss to you all. MY mail box is flooded with mails. Please allow me sometime to reply.
Suresh Gundappa
September 13, 2006 at 2:59 am
I circulated printed version to all the Male pigs in my office. By any chance do you teach art of orgasm? If you are then I would like to send my Husband to you for a week.
Are you married?
Lisa ray
September 13, 2006 at 5:23 am
You sound like a Kamasutra teacher to me!
Lisa ray
September 13, 2006 at 5:24 am
Hi Suresh,
You have a great blog.
I love your photography works lot. is Photography your professional? which part of Karnataka do you belong?
Where do you stay now?
Sathiyan S
September 13, 2006 at 5:56 am
Hey Suresh,
I wanted to drop a note saying that I really liked what you wrote. It struck a note with me, maybe because I’m also a woman and know very well how it feels. I wish there were more men out there who would take the initiative of being a little “sensitive” towards how they make their wives/girlfriends feel when they act so selfishly.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
ruhi
September 13, 2006 at 6:34 am
I too have been thinking about sexuality and orgasm lately. I’ll take small issue with the assertion that men can’t have multiple orgasms. I can count them on one hand, but it does happen
The female multiple is a marvel to see. I’ve seen the loss of personality you’re talking about with my own eyes. Cool 
Research
npanth
September 13, 2006 at 10:30 am
What’s interesting in some comments here is the implicit accusation that men are always insensitive.
Try guiding the man towards what you want, and you may surprise yourself. Try demanding, and he may surprise you!!
I think stereotypes are being broken, albeit slowly. As the moral and societal fences surrounding sex are being broken down (who could have thought of sex education classes in schools till few years back), and as more and more women demand their due share of the conjugal bliss; few if not most men, try to go against what biology dicates, and do what chemistry demands.
Adding on to the serious notes, if man vows to give the woman an orgasm each time, and every time; is it unfair to ask the woman to vow to be “in the mood” each time, and every time??
Great going Suresh, keep them coming!
SG
September 13, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Until it is commonly collectively accepted that all of us as spiritual beings are having the experience of being human, and that we will experience it in differing ways, female, male, and/or both as in homosexual or lesbian, there will always be darkness shrouding the beautiful events associated to the human body, ORGASM being one of the greatest.
We do not need permission and/or validation from anyone to be who we are Female, Male or Homosexual,Lesbian or whatever, since the SPIRIT is genderless and contains all the attributes of all things.
To experience orgasm is a personal choice and responsibility.
There is no blame, no argument, or no need to pit gender against gender. The Spirit will attest to this fact. Ladies if you are not experiencing orgasms then simply pray and meditate on it and try to evolve past those things you blame for it NOT happening in your being… even if this includes yourself…
Galaxyline, a spirit experiencing the karma of being female….
Galaxyline
September 25, 2006 at 9:24 pm
Hey
I was surfing the web and i saw this site, pretty cool.
Currently im running and adult site:Wellness
k, just want to say hi
Can i link you from my site? im looking for quality content like yours. If no let me know if i can add u in exchange for a montly fee or something.
Wellness
August 7, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Please go ahead use my content and feel free to use it. thanks for your courtesy and compassion.
Suresh Gundappa
August 8, 2007 at 3:46 am
May I add that the very natural process of giving birth can be/should be orgasmic. Not as a wimpy “in the mind” concept but the baby’s passage through the body actually triggers exactly the same physiological responses as during female orgasm. Womenin our culture are conditioned to expect pain at childbirth; this is ALL wrong. …One could be forgiven that a person having an orgasm was in pain, but they are actually in great joy. This is not a sadistic way of making it sound like women enjoy pain in childbirth… far from it, it means that there is much more in store for the experience of birth, yes, even real orgasm, if women are trained to be open to it, to not just accept it but look forward to it and relish it. And the hormones that course through the body of a woman before, during and after birth are the same hormones that go through her at orgasm. Women are sexual creatures, from the woman comes the newly made, the new thing, the creation. The fact that women are now messing around with fancy products trying to make themselves come just once, and such pressure on them to hurry up and “have one”, that is not living up to all we can be. So women, take your rights back and your body back. From you came the child, from you came the life, and from you came the pleasure. You can share it with a man but your body is beautiful and capable of much more than you ever dreamed.
See http://orgasmicbirth.com/ for a comprehensive starting spot for information about orgasmic birth. It is great! Woo! I can’t wait. Well I can
but I am looking forward to having babies very much. When the time is right.
And… if you’re worried that you’ll never feel this, then see YOUR BEDROOM on an evening home alone and a bottle of olive oil and a nice towel and some candles and fun for… a good old play! All alone and no pressure, take a journey and forget rules and suggestions. let yourself feel, push into pleasurable tension and do not hold back on your female capacity for happiness. You do not need a man or anybody else to tell you how your own body works. it will teach you all by itself.
Thanks Suresh for your blog, it’s lovely and reminds me of Madeleine L’Engle’s books, thoughtful, healing and provocative in a good way.
Jasmine
April 13, 2008 at 12:54 pm
You don’t seem to mention the most sexually active body part in a man AND a woman ; the brain.
Women are triggered by fantasies and love.
You cannot orgasm if you’re not arroused by your partner, if you don’t feel loved and respected. Nice words, body contact during the day, flowers… can go a long way !
Hummingbird
April 26, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I remember this was my first comment to your blog – your ruffled a lot of feathers with this post!
Earlier I had thought for sure you were a woman from your insightful writings. HaHa!
Gracie
August 29, 2008 at 6:35 pm
You do have a point in all this which I understand even though i’m male !!
Has anyone ever looked at it from a males eyes ?
I myself for example was born & within the first hours the skin the size of a standard envelope on the end of my penis is mostly cut of so it will look nicer.
So after recovering form that starting out with so few nerve endings to start with compared to a woman & then loosing 50% of what I had in the begining I go through life knowing the worst thing a male can do is orgasm while making love to a woman.
Only science has made me aware of so many difficiencies I have & women make sure I don’t forget & continualy remind me that in no way could I comprehend what real physical pleasure nevermind extended would feel like.
So when making love to my wife who I adore & will do anything to give her the pleasure she deserves & as many orgasms as she wants any way she wants & love doing this for her & sharing this with her because I am unable to have any of these things.
I am also a soldier & as women need a loving atmosphere & tenderness so she can have her pleasures I am glad I don’t because with what is in my head & seeing what this world is realy made of if the lousy 3 second half assed orgasm I do have required those things then not a chance I would even be able to have that.
So when a male is making love to you & everything is right for you I dare you to stop & think of what he may be thinking at the time while trying with all he has not to let go & attempt to enjoy what little he has to make sure your world is ok.
So when my wife asked me once & only once after how it felt for me?
Hmmm well dear I don’t remember much I was kind of focused on you.
She looks at me puzzled & after years explains that it’s most important for her to please me also which I know she does want but how does a man explain to a woman that in no way can a woman give me more than 1 to 3 seconds of pleasure in a day mostly because I have worked like a dog satisfying her for at least an hour & am out of time .
How do most women feel if realising that the man their with gets squat as far as physical pleasure in life & in no way can you give him that.
If you dare ask for the truth & unless your so selfish that you could care less then ask & when your confronted with reality that your not able to give him any physical pleasure & never have I hope you think just a little about it & maybe see why we are the way we are.
How do you feel knowing that all the coments that are made about your average guy are how we deny you so much pleasure & knowing we have none & have never had any & will never feel it.
I wouldn’t give my life up for anything even though physical pleasure is something I am not allowed to feel but knowing that my wife , childeren & all of you out there are behind me knowing I will give my life & let no harm get through to any of you making sure you can have all those things that nature denies me.
I wish yet can’t imagine what 60 seconds just once before I die feeling what you feel must feel like having a real orgasm.
Also when you call us selfish please forgive us because we truly have no idea what your talking about & no matter what we will never feel any of those things but ask milions of us what it feels like to have a bulit go through our bodies & that we understand & can relate too.
Brad
September 26, 2008 at 1:55 am