Jealousy is nothing but deep discontentment about yourself..
Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006
Jealousy is nothing but deep discontentment about yourself. when you want to become what you are not then Jealousy is. Jealousy stems from greek root word which also means “yeast or being rotten”.
Jealousy is comparison. And we have been taught to compare, we have been conditioned to compare, always compare. Somebody else has a better house, somebody else has a more beautiful body, somebody else has more money, somebody else has a more charismatic personality.
Compare, go on comparing yourself with everybody else you pass by, and great jealousy will be the outcome; it is the by-product of the conditioning for comparison. Otherwise, if you drop comparing, jealousy disappears. Then you simply know you are you, and you are nobody else, and there is no need. It is good that you don’t compare yourself with trees, otherwise you will start feeling very jealous: why are you not green? And why has God been so hard on you — and no flowers? It is better that you don’t compare with birds, with rivers, with mountains; otherwise you will suffer. You only compare with human beings, because you have been conditioned to compare only with human beings; you don’t compare with peacocks and with parrots. Otherwise, your jealousy would be more and more: you would be so burdened by jealousy that you would not be able to live at all. Comparison is a very foolish attitude, because each person is unique and incomparable.
Once this understanding settles in you, jealousy disappears. Each is unique and incomparable. You are just yourself: nobody has ever been like you, and nobody will ever be like you. And you need not be like anybody else, either. God creates only originals; he does not believe in carbon copies. But why does the idea of the other enter in your head in the first place? Again let me remind you: because you have not allowed your own juices to flow; you have not allowed your own blissfulness to grow, you have not allowed your own being to bloom. Hence you feel empty inside, and you look at each and everybody’s outside because only the outside can be seen.
You know your interiority, and only you know it, nobody else. And you know everybody’s exterior, and their exterior people have made beautiful. Exteriors are showpieces and they are very deceptive. Because of jealousy you are in constant suffering; you become mean to others. And because of jealousy you start becoming phony, because you start pretending.
You start pretending things that you don’t have, you start pretending things which you can’t have, which are not natural to you. You become more and more artificial. Imitating others, competing with others, what else can you do? If somebody has something and you don’t have it, and you don’t have a natural possibility of having it, the only way is to have some cheap substitute for it.
The jealous man lives in hell. Drop comparing and jealousy disappears, meanness disappears, phoniness disappears. But you can drop it only if you start growing your inner treasures; there is no other way.
Grow up, become a more and more authentic individual. Love yourself and respect yourself the way God has made you, and then immediately the doors of heaven open for you. They were always open, you had simply not looked at them.
Love and lot’s of it dear ones
Suresh
Beautiful thoughts Suresh!
Great word, Suresh!
In fact, if somebody has a nice house, I am enjoying visiting it and looking at it - and when I only think how much maintanance it is to own such a real estate, I think “thank God, it is not mine!”.
I have always been very amused by people being jelous
When we enjoy the talents, the looks, the posessions of others - we can have much better life. One day it will becomme the common thinking, I am sure. But we should start NOW!
Suresh, One of my friend suggested your site for a visit. What a surprise!
I remember attending one of your talk sessions last year in Atlanta. You spoke on power of silence. I have been really influenced by your sppech and blog. Although I have not mananged to learn meditation, I feel peaceful every time I look at your photos and blog. Can you please let me know if you are taking meditation classes again in US?
Sorry Nicole, Due to my hectic schedule I have stopped taking public classes on Meditation. However I continue to guide friends on this path. Mostly private lessons. I am planning to have a weekend meditation in Atlanta next year due of lot demand from friends like you. I will keep you posted.
Hello Suresh,
I really look forward to your blogs. It is a fabulous idea to blend photography with thoughts- thoughts that are so simple and yet have no much meaning. It is a constant reminder for me to continue to strive to live a happy, meaningful life…please keep writing! :)..Best wishes…
Thank you for visiting my blog and I wanted to reciprocate by visiting yours. Your words are thought provoking and your photography is beautiful. I enjoyed.
liveinharmony
Hmmm.
I am struggling with this one right now. It has nothing to do with material aspects, but relational.
I am sitting here knowing I am all I need to be. Even, all I want to be. Everything that is me is all of it.
Yet, letting go of thinking someone has something, relationally, I could have is my own delusion.
I needed reminding today. What amuses me about myself right now is that in many ways I am calm, good with my selves, in love, happy, in myself and learning about some crucial “what works and what does not” things about how I connect and exchange with others.
Maybe the jealousy is an awareness tool for me. I can use it to illuminate where I disconnect from my love and myself.
Thanks for the words to help me clarify.
Kim
This is so true. I have never liked competition, in fact I would always give in, in a refusal to participate. I experienced jealousy for the first time in a long time recently. It had to do with me envying someone else for the things I didn’t feel I have- not material. I admitted this to another friend, and she said, that is good.
It means you want some of the positive qualities this person has. It was true. But I have those things within … I am just trying to dig them out at the present moment.
Your photography is breath-taking. Thanks for sharing it.
Gorgeous photo Suresh. And very wise words. It seems to me that jealousy comes from a belief in scarcity of the good stuff in life. If others have more love and accomplishments that I do it must mean that they have some of what should be allotted to me. I need to get my good stuff away from tham. But iof course that is delusional. Love and accomplishments come to me based on how I am being. Period. It doesn’t have anything to do with how others are being or how they are being rewarded.
Jealousy is one of the prime reasons many relationships are doomed from the beginning. I like how you address the fears and difficulties many folks struggle with due to envy of others or a perceived belief that doesn’t actually exist to begin with. It can be destructive on so many levels - excellent words of wisdom, Suresh.
I absolutely love the photograph. One day……….
Your photos are beautiful - always.
About jealousy I must add something. From my observation I have noticed that people with big egos are the ones who are jealous. They think very highly of themselves and it doesn’t match with their real capabilities. Therefore when they find someone has something better than they have or is better than they are, they just can’t take it. They burn with jealousy.
Wonderful insightful writing.
I hope that parents take a moment to reflect how their actions impact on their children, and how some of them might cause their children to grow up jealous. I agree that jealous has everything to do with comparison but while we generally compare external things it results in an internal feeling of being inadequate. “If you could only be as tidy as your sister”, “See Johnny, he doesn’t wear diapers anymore”, “Look how nice Sarah looks in her new dress, but you went playing in the dirt and look at you!” etc. Seemingly simple sentences like that result a child not feeling good enough which triggers a deeper problem: “Mummy doesn’t love me as much as she loves XYZ.” And from then on we are doomed. It’s not just parents, it’s the society too.
Suresh, seems that your posts seem to trigger more then my usual two line comments. Forgive me and thank you. SP
Excellent photography..! Like its a redefinition of clarity & resolution!!
I am not too sure whether it has anything to do with Jealously afterall.
May be Colors & butterfly may feel jealous looking at your photo!
ಅತಿ ಮಧುರಾ ಅನುರಾಗ….
Is jealousy and envy the same thing?
“The power of silence” ? Hope to read about it.
(oh please excuse me for making a request. thanks anyway)
Hello,
I feel very depressed and unhappy as my best friend who used to feel that i am his soulmate has left me, he does not feel the way he used to once. I feel so unhappy about it. I feel like killing myself for his behaviour. I really dont know what to do. I have spoken to him many times but he says that he will never get back the way we were earlier as he feels guilty about it because both of us are happily married to our spouses and have kids.Being very close to another woman or a man is not right as thats the way our upbringing is. We feel that we are cheating on our spouses. What should i do?He is lost all the feelings once he had for me, but i am really disturbed aobut it. I really do not want to trouble him, i too want peace of mind. I am in a very very bad state. I just dont feel like living. Please help