Unless you find Love, You will Always Live on the Edge of Suicide.
Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2007 Buy this photo from my gallery!
How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin’ no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely… and nobody knows
Song by Larsen Blaine – Written about Young man who committed suicide
Unless you find Love, You will always Live on the edge of suicide. Tendency towards suicide is not just about the depression about life. Suicide mean you have lost hope and all hopes are dependent on others. Suicide means you have no opinion about yourself. Suicide means you have lost tremendous opportunity to live and love.
The only hope which matters is always about you. Your happiness is so dependent on external factors that you have no control over them. Your happiness is depend upon Money, Car, Loved ones, Jewellery and the endless shopping list. Your happiness is depending how others think about you and treat you. In-fact your happiness is nothing but other’s opinion about you. You drive yourself to suicide because you have nothing which you can call your own including hope.
Since your happiness so much dependent on external factors that Man is living close to suicide. It’s not happened at anytime before in our history. But global tendency of suicide has become much more intensified phenomena than before.
In unconscious love, you are just an emptiness — dark and dismal, hungry and thirsty. In unconscious love, you are a beggar. You are begging for love, because love is nourishment. And this is hilarious: You are begging for love, the other person, whom you are in love with is also begging for love — two beggars holding their begging bowls before each other, and both begging bowls are empty.
Conscious love makes you an emperor. You don’t beg; you simply give. And you give because now you see that the more you give the more you have. So whoever accepts your love, you are grateful to the person.
The whole earth can become full of love, an ocean of love, but only with conscious people.
With unconscious people, it is just a disgusting place, nauseating… everybody pretending to be loving, and nobody is loving. Everybody is trying to exploit the other, and the other is doing the same to him. And because both are empty, sooner or later they are going to start quarreling: that “You deceived me,” that “You cheated me,” that “You betrayed me,” that “You are not the woman you pretended to be,” that “You are not the man you were showing yourself to be.” But with beggars this is going to be the problem.
But everybody in this whole world of unconsciousness is a beggar, trying in every possible way to snatch some love, some attention, some sympathy — because love is a necessary nourishment. Without love, you cannot live; just as food is necessary for the body, love is necessary for the soul. And everybody is suffering without love, because without love your souls are dying.
But what we are doing is not right.
The right way is to bring consciousness to yourself.
And from consciousness there will be many revolutions in many dimensions. Love will be one of the most important dimensions, and you will find the golden key of how to get love from the whole existence.
The secret is: whatever you have, give it, share it.
Once the universe knows that you have become a sharer, then all the sources of the universe become available to you. They are inexhaustible.
Love and Love is my message.
Cheers
Suresh
From my upcoming book “Secrets for centuries”
Can really relate to this considering my own attempt to commit suicide long ago
Here’s a nice story…
YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND
A beggar had been sitting by the side of a road for over thirty years. One day a stranger walked by. “Spare some change?” mumbled the beggar, mechanically holding out his old baseball cap. “I have nothing to give you,” said the stranger. Then he asked: “What’s that you are sitting on?” “Nothing,” replied the beggar. “Just an old box. I have been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.” “Ever looked inside?” asked the stranger. “No,” said the beggar. “What’s the point? There’s nothing in there.” “Have a look inside,” insisted the stranger. The beggar managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.
I am that stranger who has nothing to give you and who is telling you to look inside. Not inside any box, as in the parable, but somewhere even closer: inside yourself.
“But I am not a beggar,” I can hear you say.
Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.
~ The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
Dear Suresh there is a severe dearth of such strangers who remind us of these simple yet often elusive facts. Thank you very much for sharing this post – and I look forward to really implementing it!
Sanjay M
March 5, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I have nominated you for the Thinking Blogger Award. Details are here.
icedmocha
March 5, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Suresh – I am getting curious about your upcoming book. It must be a treasure house.
So true, many people try to live upto some one else’s expectations and end up feeling defeated.
But, it is the increasing suicides amoung young school students in India that breaks my heart. Children as young as 14 commit suicide if they do not get good scores in exams. Trying to fulfil their parents aspirations, they end up dead.
Priya
March 5, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Could we also share the love we
have for our partner? Will that
also be love. Sometimes i am at
lost i really cant understand what
love is.
eloi
March 5, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Suresh, i am delighted to hear that you are putting out a book.
Have you heard of the movie “The Celestine Prophecy”? in it, they actually show what it looks like energetically when we try to take energy (Love) from another, as opposed to both people giving love to each other. to see this visually helped me a lot.
Unfortunately somtimes we have to get to the brink of suicide to finally dig deep for the source of this Love in ourselves. Here in America, as in India, many do not make it back from the brink…
om
March 6, 2007 at 1:42 am
Totally agree with it..
I have had my own thoughts of sucide when I was younger..
but to love yourself and to share it is the secret of life..
preethi
March 6, 2007 at 5:05 am
Thank you again for the words of wisdom.
Ido Levi
March 6, 2007 at 6:44 am
Thanks Sanjay for that wonderful link and Post.
Iced Mocha (((((((((Hugs))))))))))) thanks for nominating.
Priya: Children at 14 are extremely soft liek potters mud. They are moulded by others opinions fast. And their Education pressure is expectation burden to extremity.
Om: Yes I have read Celestine Prophecy and It’s a wonderful book.
Preethi and Ido levi : thank you so much for your time and comments
Suresh Gundappa
March 6, 2007 at 9:18 am
Dear Suresh, what a wonderful text! It reminds me of one strong quotation (unfortunately don`t remember the source):
“If you want love, go and give love, and you will find love…”
It is something many people forget: they want to be loved but what about giving it?
axinia
March 6, 2007 at 11:44 am
G’day Suresh, Again my brief visit to your blog keeps me “balanced”, and I always appreciate the beautiful photos you often post. May I offer a suggestion at this point? (I have no email address for you to correspond such, so forgive my directness via this Comment. Feel free to delete once read.)Although you put much care into your layout/presentation… I find your pages load somewhat slow even with my ADSL/cable connection. I am thinking you do not “compress” your images before upload. I also note that you have a Flickr account, where you have other pictures loaded and fed to sidebar widget. Am I correct in thinking that you are loading the same pictures to your blog as well as Flickr? If so why not load all to Flickr, and then embed/tag from Flickr in the post where you want. That way, you only load pictures to one site, and save heaps of space on WordPress site.
If this is not the case, then may I suggest alternative is to “compress” your photos b4 uploading to Wp. If you’re not familiar with this, please contact me on bozpower@yahoo.com.au and I can recommend quite easily how to achieve this without too much fuss and bother. By compressing your pics for Wp, or by stream-feed direct from Flickr account, will save many viewers time whilst waiting for pages/posts to load that have “large” file sizes (5o-150 kbs for each photo should be an ideal size to aim for.) Anyway my fellow-traveller, just thought I’d mention this, and if none of what I say is of any relevance to your self, feel free to delete this correspondence/comment. For now, Namaste. 
Djubba
March 6, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Thanks Djubba for your comments. I am aware of this issue. Actually My photos are compressed (original size is close to 7Mb). I upload little large photos only to hold readers attention. Flickr Tag does’t give me enough attention from reader. Only way I can think right now is to reduce number of posts visible on the first page. May be that will help the cause but My traffic from Search engines is so high that unless I get search engine readers to spend sometime on site they will wither away soon. thanks for your suggestions and I will do something about it.
Suresh Gundappa
March 6, 2007 at 3:03 pm
another your great quality – a master of marketing!
axinia
March 6, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Follow-on comment… Have you heard of “Shrinkpic”? http://www.onthegosoft.com/shrink_pic.htm I use it often… does it for me! Compression can be set… does not alter dimensions, website quality, and totally free!
Djubba
March 6, 2007 at 5:37 pm
suresh,
Most cases of suicides if analyzed in India relate to poverty and pains ( 95% are relatd to stomach ailments)
Where do you want these guys to profess their love and survive please?
gmohanprakash
March 7, 2007 at 6:44 am
Mohan, I guess i have no answer to your question.
All my posts probably address only certain segment of people. I do not think I had in my mind – the people whom you spoke about when I wrote this post. All my posts are more psychological and less materialistic. I wanted to convey my message to thousands of people who are reasonably well off materialistically but are on the brink of breakdown spiritually.
My posts are aimed at people who read my blog. I guess none of the poor people whom you mentioned read my blog. so how can I even address them.
For your information I also recommend suicide to lot of terminally ill patients who are barely living because of state laws. I guess for them Love is to let them die even if it is suicide. but then this topic is for another day.
I hear you Mohan, But I am not the right guy to answer your question,
Thanks for your comments and time
Cheers
Suresh Gundappa
March 7, 2007 at 7:27 am
Suresh your answer makes a lot of sense to me. Apart from suicide statistics, another point worth highlighting in general is that I generally had a bleak picture of people not well of materialistically long ago but luckily eventually did come across other perspectives as well.
Example some people profiled in ijourney or goodnewsindia. I particularly loved the story of saalumarada thimakka which I’d first read on the good news india site.
There’s a poem in The Moon Appears When the Water is Still (by Ian McCrorie)…
In India I came upon a beggar woman
covered in dust and grime
seated at the side of the road.
Someone had given her a plate of food
which had attracted a mangy and growling mad dog.
He too was hungry
And without hesitation she shared
her only food with him.
He ate and then lay down at her feet.
Locked in their respective kammas
there was still room for kindness.
And if I could speak her language
(I spoke unilingual affluence
and she all the dialects of abject poverty)
I would beg her to tell me
how her heart can shine so brightly
beneath the dust of her life.
Sanjay M
March 7, 2007 at 10:17 am
om, The Celestine Prophecy sounds good, will check it out. Another movie might be on similar lines – I haven’t seen it either but just heard of it is What the bleep do we know?!
Sanjay M
March 7, 2007 at 10:19 am
om, The Celestine Prophecy sounds good, will check it out – thanks. Another movie may be on similar lines (haven’t seen it either, just seen this link) What the bleep do we know?!
Sanjay M
March 7, 2007 at 10:26 am
‘Where words are scarce, they are seldom spent in vain, For they breathe truth that breathe their words in pain…’
I suppose these Shakespearean lines say it all.
greatunknown
March 7, 2007 at 2:38 pm
[...] : My favourite blog – Sureshg WordPress Posted by caaro Filed in Przestrzeń, Smutek, [...]
Imagination is the best thing, I’ve probably ever got.
March 7, 2007 at 7:37 pm
I dont wanna be a beggar. I want to grow, to be rich to share the love… I want to be conscious but i dont know how to. Could you help?
eloi
March 9, 2007 at 2:13 am
Suresh,
Thanks for the feedback. Guess i missed that preface
Keep writing, you are the best of best
cheers
mohan!
gmohanprakash
March 9, 2007 at 6:51 am
Regret to post this link from today’s news:
Schoolboy ends life, management shrugs it off
That one of the main issues was that the teacher found fault with a diary the boy maintains everyday. It seems there was another article (I missed that) with a photo of a page from the diary where the teacher had put red marks all over the diary marking a lot of mistakes, and this had been an issue almost every day.
I’m sure it couldn’t have been a sudden decision but one playing with the idea over many days. What were the parents doing all the while – have they lost touch with their own children apart from everyday hi and bye? Seeing the boy’s photo, it looks like hes just another ordinary guy whom nobody could’ve ever imagined was thinking of comitting suicide.
The report in Deccan Herald said that a few days earlier, the boy had told his Dad “don’t worry, I’ll end this diary business once and for all”. The boy had written that he would take rebirth to avenge those who had troubled him. (I do believe in the concept of rebirth, but still makes me wonder what kind of nonsense are we unknowingly conveying about it to children?)
Some questions come to mind for which atleast immediately atleast Im lost about answers…
Are children becoming over-sensitive? How much of openness has the family encouraged all these years? How intimate is the child with the parents where he feels confident enough to share such things with them, so that they get an opportunity to guide him about their incorrectness? How much fear have they put into the child so that the child refuses to share such problems? How much are the parents engrossed in their own problems to have become too insensitive to the children even when the children are trying to share it or atleast give some hints of such things happening?
reminds me of when children enter into school they have more intelligence than when they leave the university
Sanjay M
March 9, 2007 at 1:31 pm
In my late 20’s I called a crisis hotline because I knew I had misplaced myself. I was in a relationship and lost my way to a place where I depended on all from another, and the other wanted this so.
I began my lifelong journey to self.
I learned that I cannot always feel love. Love is love. Nothing more, nothing less. At first, and until recently, I felt that I could not feel the love of others and therefore that was my troubled wound.
Not so.
I am quite single at this time and stupendously committed to being with myself. And love. I get lonely. I get confused. I sit still in the tension. Suicide is so much what you speak of Suresh, to me, after this 25 year, to date, excursion.
Sometimes, I need my mind to remind the rest of my being that love is.
In the last few months I have discovered the following:
♥A profound friendship with a 12 year old girl named Mary who I know is a fairy incarnate.
♥A friendship with two people where I feel completely at home with no need to explain.
(I had the above with my friend Amanda who died. Who gets this twice in one lifetime!?)
♥That my friend’s children, who I love completely, feel safer with me than I ever imagined. One will be spending the weekend, just he and I, with me soon.
♥An engaged and aired out relationship with my mother.
Anytime I loose sight of love I remember these moments.
Thank you Suresh.
Kim
kimtelas
March 16, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Thanks KIm,
can’t tell you how good it feels to read your comments. Welcome back my friend. good to see you again!
Suresh Gundappa
March 17, 2007 at 4:08 am
Such a wonderful image with excellent side lighting, which certainly fits this well written piece!
macroartinnature
April 2, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Om Shanti Suresh
I am touched by your honesty and willingness to help others by sharing your beautiful images and thoughts, it has a sense of serenity and purity which I feel can be so useful for others to enjoy and feel supported.
Just wanted to let you know this, keep the flow going, it is wonder-filled
Love and Blessings to you ,
Claudia
innermelody
May 29, 2007 at 10:21 pm
very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
Idetrorce
December 15, 2007 at 2:24 pm