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This photo is dedicated to those who lost their lives on Virginia Tech shoot out.

Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2007

I have been traveling across the US promoting My firms Global expansion program. I heard Viriginia tech incident while on road. I am deeply hurt and disturbed by what i saw and heard. I wanted to share few thoughts with you.

First of all lets’ stop blaming everyone for killings. You can have theories on Guns, Officials and killer, but nothing changes the reality.

However one thing which bothered me lot is…..

“What kind of person may be so angry to Kill 32 persons mercilessly?What kind of Person might be so frustrated to take lives of known and unknown people?”

Don’t bother to answer the above, however do answer the following

What have you done to make sure that your son is not the next killer? How much you know about frustrations of your son or daughter? What makes you think you are not making your kid angry?

Remember that every kid is born as an immense potential but the way he has been brought up results in what he turns out to be.

Love is most important ingredient in your child growth. Not vitamins not proteins , definitely not cheeseburgers but Love is the most important ingredient in your child’s growth. If your kid is not loved and he in turn is not able to love; then I promise you that he has already potential to be a killer; need not be with gun but with his behavior and attitude and in his relationships.

To cut long story short, here are few thoughts I would like young parents to consider. Please take time to read and understand as you might be saving your kid and others lives.

* Have ideas on what you want your child to be when he grows up but do not force your idea on them. They have come from you but they are not yours. they are not your ego fulfilling guinea pigs! First source of anger in kids is feeling of slave with parents. They feel parents force everything on them.

* Love your kids but don’t expect to love them back. Don’t force them to love you and respect you. You can Love them so much that your children finds equal joy in loving back. Demanding forceful respect because you are a parent is the worst thing you can do to your child. This is second source of anger with your child.

* Be responsible – If you are a parent then don’t neglect your responsibility. Your responsibility is towards you and your kid. Your divorce, Your career, Your failures, Your success; all part of life. Do not allow them to dictate how you behave with your kids. Children learn art of relating from parents. Relationships goes thru hell because they fail to learn art of relating. The moment child fails learn art of relating to people, He will build his own dark world. Most of the young criminals are lonely persons. Children with friends are less prone to dark world.

* Spend some time with them. Do not offer advice . Do not offer counseling but just spend sometime to hear them out. You need not offer any suggestion but create an outlet for their story every day. Most of the children frustration is that you as a parent do not give them enough time to hear them. Trust me if you hear them you will learn lot about yourself.Another biggest cause of anger.

* Teach them something about silence. Words doesn’t build character but silence does. It doesn’t matter what religion and what belief you have, Do expose them to prayer and silence. Children biggest source of anger comes from hypocrisy of parents. They behave differently with God and in real life. Parents say non -violence is god and then they beat up children. Avoid at any cost violence on children. Their helpless in getting beaten builds ocean of anger.

* Allow them to learn at least one art which they like – May be singing, may be poetry, May be:painting, wood work, kite flying; It may be anything. If you provide your kid with an creative outlet chances are that he will carry less burden in his heart. All creative people are non violent for simple reason that they have no energy left for violence.

Invest in Love and Love is the only investment you can make in your child which can grow for centuries. Love has power to reap benefits for centuries.

The function of the parents is not how to help the children grow — they will grow without you. Your function is to support, to nourish, to help what is already growing.

Only one thing you can do, and that is share your own life. Tell them that you have been conditioned by your parents, that you have lived within certain limits, according to certain ideals, and because of these limits and ideals you have missed life completely, and you don’t want to destroy your children’s life. You want them to be totally free — free of you, because to them you represent the whole past.

I am sorry for those children who lost their lives in Virginia tech shoot out. I am also sorry for Cho Seung-Hui who killed them.

Dear Cho – May you be loved enough in your next life!

Love and lots of it dear ones

Suresh

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