Danger is beautiful! In deep danger we come alive and we come close to stillness!. That’s why millions of people are addicted to dangerous sports and dangerous games! They love to tread forests, climb mountains, and play with fire, Ride a bike on terrains! In flying, climbing – you will find moment of stillness. Next time when you brake your car against unknown obstacle- just watch yourself! You will hit a wave of stillness and silenceness. Because you are not used to stillness you interpret silence negatively as fear!
Watch children, Constantly they are doing something which makes parents go nuts!, They are jumping from wall, Playing with Electricity, doing something what grown ups call dangerous! Kids never find interest in something easy; they need something challenging, risky and dangerous! As adults we keep destroying that unique quality every kid is born with! Teach them common sense. Don’t teach them to be meek. That is ability to take risks, ability to do things to your heart content.
Allow your kids to grow up with a quality of Risk taking ability, yes, they may lose many times but they constantly grow. Unlike most of you where life is stagnated!
Meditation is probably the biggest risk you can take. When you die to past and future you live in this moment. Every moment then becomes a unknown journey. To live in this moment is totally dangerous in society’s eyes. That’s why you find few risk takers in history - A Jesus here, A Buddha there, A Einstein here, A Leonardo there.
Love
Suresh
It’s at the edge of ‘danger’ point that we tend to shed away all sorts of divisions and just touch the ‘essence’ of life.
As adults, we’ve learned to become so guarded and often lose those childlike instincts therefore rarely experience that “stillness” which danger can produce. Thanks for the insightful words and reminder.
Love the photograph – the eyes are penetrating and a perfect choice to accompany this post. Hugs!
Excellent content here. Glad I discovered and will return. Keep up the great work!
I fully endorse your views yes when u r in crisis solutions will emerge and when you are in deep danger you need some thing to get out of it and meditation or dhyana may be the answer
thanks sureshji for wonderful post and opt caption and photo
pranesh
Praneshavare, I doubt if the view of this post says that when in deep danger and need to get out of it, meditation is an answer. To me it seems to be more about embracing danger than trying to get out of it.
Just yesterday, my 15 month old son stepped on a small wooden block on the floor. He was losing his balance and I tried to hold him but he pushed his hand away and fell backward but recovered his balance. But then he tried to step on it again. I was scared he was going to fall and got ready to catch him but he was resisting me, and this time he fell forward but recovered his balance again. He started stepping on the block again, I started to get worried… I wanted to distract him and put that ledge away… Then I rememembered this post – and I was just amazed I was witnessing this exact situation and relaxed a bit. And this time he managed to stand on the ledge balancing himself, and he was quite happy, and so was I.
Sanjay
I have said may be the answer certainly for some people it will be. meditation is one things each one will have their own experience. of course you are much more knowledgeable and experience in this and I adore your views
coming to your sons incident it was happening in house i guess you can think of the post and watch, imagine it is happening on a hill top and he is walking back ward u can think any other thing than how to see that he does not go back without distracting his attention you will make all efforts to catch him. so circumstances also are very important and will decide what to do at that particular time.
what I mean here is when you are stressed or in deep danger may mediation may be the answer and not the only solution. there may be many also. as as suresh said in other posts once you are in mediation you are in danger or what ever it may you feel it and nothing will distract you and you feel comfortable comfort makes your life easier
I appreciate your views and please let me know your comments on this suresh can add his expert comments to for consumption of all
pranesh
Praneshavare, I completely agree common sense is an important factor, as Suresh has said. Why a hill top, even inside the house, I definitely wouldn’t let him try to get down a staircase. And I’ve seen that he himself hesitates to try it (when I’m secretly almost holding him but he thinks he is on his own).
There is no question of blindly following anything here and my son is completely my responsibility. It is unthinkable that I would ever confront Suresh with ‘all because I thought of your blog post my son fell and hurt himself (now you come and pay his medical bills!)’ ROFL (I hope he dosen’t start putting a list of disclaimers here!)
For me meditation has never been an answer to anything. I feel you are on the dot when you have said in your earlier comment ‘when u r in crisis solutions will emerge’. The problem is usually that we do not see the solution!
So meditation – whatever little I’ve tried to do (or ‘not do’) – has made me more open and receptive to find or see answers by myself that otherwise I would’ve missed. Starting to meditate at the point when one is stressed or in some crisis in my opinion would be like ‘yuddhakaale shastraabyaasa’ (practice of weaponry at the time of war’) 
PS: I’m just a novice and also not very regular or experienced pls take my views with a pinch of salt – thanks
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oh my GOD..Suresh, the Cats eyes are scary.. how did you capture that man??
Risk taking ? whats that? I have my son and I have to think about his future
Btw in my first comment, I’d mainly meant to say that I witnessed how a child takes risks. I did not mean that I want to take risks wrt them.
Coming back to this post because I was wondering how one can teach common sense…
After all, we know that common sense is not so common
Only if I have it I can teach my son. Still like everyone else, let me assume I do, and here are some related original/borrowed ideas…
My son was playing with a cupboard door, opening and closing it, almost jamming his fingers every time. The moment we said “No” the more he wanted to do it.
So we (parents) tried another approach – I slowly and purposefully close the door, pretend to jam my finger, and shout “OWWW OUCH oooooohhhhh” holding on to my ‘painful’ finger… and u get the idea… Then I said, see that’s what will happen when we close the door.
Then I prompt him – ‘go ahead, now you close it now’ and he hesitates… and I say ‘go on’and nudge him forward… and suddenly he changes his mind.
It was HIS decision now, and not my control over him.
I feel this may be the key to common sense – this responsibility which as this post had put – the ability to respond. Another thing is staircase, I take him to the edge and tell him that if he goes down, he’s going to bump bump and hurt himself a lot.
(He rarely touched the cupboard again, Once in a way this play acting has to be repeated, but it usually works. (Same thing with electric sockets – he by and large has stayed away from them).
Initially with him walking to the edge of the bed, I once let him fall and provided a secret soft-landing with just a little impact that he gets the idea that he’s hurt himself. He eventually figured out how to get down safely. With a staircase, I sat with him on the top at the edge, and told him that going down its going to be DUM DUM DUM… and a lot of ouch ouch ouch. Or if he’s eating random things, I pretend to eat it too and make a very graphic noisy acting of throwing up. Or I might even say Ouch ouch ouch showing pain in my stomach. Then I let him take his decision
Usually these things work, sometimes they dont and he still tries it (and then of course I stop/distract him at the last possible moment). Nevertheless, they’re a lot more fun than the conventional commanding approach.
We hate to badger him “NOOOO dont do that – oh no not that – and dont do that either!” – except when its absolutely inevitable of course. After all, inspite of all our supervision and child proofing, we can’t always make every place he goes to all the time child-safe.
I think the ability to listen has been quite an important factor. Only way to allow him to learn to listen (or rather, allow him to retain this ability which any baby already has) was to listen to him ourselves. Right from his infancy, we pay a lot of attention when he says something, though it was initially just incoherent babbling. Not a pretence just for the sake of it, but we listen from the heart – this is one thing that’s really improved with meditation. And esp considering that we all look like giants to him, whenever we can esp in the initial days, we kneel down and go to his level and make eye contact and listen.
These are just some ideas which I thought of sharing, though they might be a bit tangential to the original topic
There are lot of things I don’t have an answer – like sometimes he just screams and shouts and makes a tantrum and I have absolutely no clue how to handle it. But I’ve found that some things just solve themselves, eg at one point he picked up this horrible obsession of taking any object A and pound it on the floor or some other object. I tried various things (including sitting and pounding together along with him making it like a game) but nothing resulted in him stopping it. I gave up and we just let him do it (or took it away if it was delicate). But after a week or so luckily he forgot about it. Screaming has reduced but he’s still at it, also sometimes he scratches or pinches – these are current issues no solution not even punishment is working yet. Not that we’re in a hurry I guess its part of the growing up process both for us as well as him
Veena, btw just my 2p that it would be a bigger risk to my son’s future if I had not taken the risk of meditating
For some stint of indiscipline, I had almost discontinued for few months. I felt that even though he was right there with me, I was still missing him. I was missing the depth of the bond that deepens with meditation. Once I got back on track, I’m able to clearly see a difference even in the way he reciprocates.
(Whenever he sees me sitting on the floor in meditation, he comes and sits on my lap very happily saying “appa hatra” (near Dad). I have to call my wife to take him away for a while, even though in my heart I am praying for his highest welfare)
True that any father feels paternal love due to the role or relationship or ‘blood is thicker than water’ factor. But there is a lot more depth in the purity and joy of the love one feels as a meditator. And the beauty is the same love and joy automatically gets extended to any child I come across eg my friend’s children or even a small boy who comes to clean my car windshield at a traffic signal – and with my limited sense of commitment, atleast just during those moments that we’re together I pray for them as well. For them it may not matter I dont know, but atleast for me its nice
Btw in my first comment, I’d mainly meant to say that I witnessed how a child takes risks. I did not mean that I want to take risks wrt them.
Coming back to this post because I was wondering how one can teach common sense…
After all, we know that common sense is not so common
Only if I have it I can teach my son. Still like everyone else, let me assume I do, and here are some related original/borrowed ideas…
My son was playing with a cupboard door, opening and closing it, almost jamming his fingers every time. The moment we said “No” the more he wanted to do it.
So we (parents) tried another approach – I slowly and purposefully close the door, pretend to jam my finger, and shout “OWWW OUCH oooooohhhhh” holding on to my ‘painful’ finger… and u get the idea… Then I said, see that’s what will happen when we close the door.
Then I prompt him – ‘go ahead, now you close it now’ and he hesitates… and I say ‘go on’and nudge him forward… and suddenly he changes his mind.
It was HIS decision now, and not my control over him.
I feel this may be the key to common sense – this responsibility which as this post had put – the ability to respond. Another thing is staircase, I take him to the edge and tell him that if he goes down, he’s going to bump bump and hurt himself a lot.
(He rarely touched the cupboard again, Once in a way this play acting has to be repeated, but it usually works. (Same thing with electric sockets – he by and large has stayed away from them).
Initially with him walking to the edge of the bed, I once let him fall and provided a secret soft-landing with just a little impact that he gets the idea that he’s hurt himself. He eventually figured out how to get down safely. With a staircase, I sat with him on the top at the edge, and told him that going down its going to be DUM DUM DUM… and a lot of ouch ouch ouch. Or if he’s eating random things, I pretend to eat it too and make a very graphic noisy acting of throwing up. Or I might even say Ouch ouch ouch showing pain in my stomach. Then I let him take his decision
Usually these things work, sometimes they dont and he still tries it (and then of course I stop/distract him at the last possible moment). Nevertheless, they’re a lot more fun than the conventional commanding approach.
We hate to badger him “NOOOO dont do that – oh no not that – and dont do that either!” – except when its absolutely inevitable of course. After all, inspite of all our supervision and child proofing, we can’t always make every place he goes to all the time child-safe.
I think the ability to listen has been quite an important factor. Only way to allow him to learn to listen (or rather, allow him to retain this ability which any baby already has) was to listen to him ourselves. Right from his infancy, we pay a lot of attention when he says something, though it was initially just incoherent babbling. Not a pretence just for the sake of it, but we listen from the heart – this is one thing that’s really improved with meditation. And esp considering that we all look like giants to him, whenever we can esp in the initial days, we kneel down and go to his level and make eye contact and listen.
These are just some ideas which I thought of sharing, though they might be a bit tangential to the original topic
There are lot of things I don’t have an answer – like sometimes he just screams and shouts and makes a tantrum and I have absolutely no clue how to handle it. But I’ve found that some things just solve themselves, eg at one point he picked up this horrible obsession of taking any object A and pound it on the floor or some other object. I tried various things (including sitting and pounding together along with him making it like a game) but nothing resulted in him stopping it. I gave up and we just let him do it (or took it away if it was delicate). But after a week or so luckily he forgot about it. Screaming has reduced but he’s still at it, also sometimes he scratches or pinches – these are current issues no solution not even punishment is working yet. Not that we’re in a hurry I guess its part of the growing up process both for us as well as him
Veena, btw just my 2p that it would be a bigger risk to my son’s future if I had not taken the risk of meditating
For some stint of indiscipline, I had almost discontinued for few months. I felt that even though he was right there with me, I was still missing him. I was missing the depth of the bond that deepens with meditation. Once I got back on track, I’m able to clearly see a difference even in the way he reciprocates.
(Whenever he sees me sitting on the floor in meditation, he comes and sits on my lap very happily saying “appa hatra” (near Dad). I have to call my wife to take him away for a while, even though in my heart I am praying for his highest welfare)
True that any father feels paternal love due to the role or relationship or ‘blood is thicker than water’ factor. But there is a lot more depth in the purity and joy of the love one feels as a meditator. And the beauty is the same love and joy automatically gets extended to any child I come across eg my friend’s children or even a small boy who comes to clean my car windshield at a traffic signal – and with my limited sense of commitment, atleast just during those moments that we’re together I pray for them as well. For them it may not matter I dont know, but atleast for me its nice
Related link to my prev comment here
…this was a nice tip from that article…
Wrt “still believes the world revolves around him” … as this post says adults may not be too different
Check out this story… looks like this guy actually meditated in a time of crisis and came up with a solution (wrt Praneshachar’s comment
)
The NRI who saved 150 lives
Praneshachar’s simple words happen to trigger ample fires in Sanjay. The one ‘terror’ link (‘one nri saves 150 lives incident story’> I liked very much. It’s the ‘terror’ that helps one to touch the very core of our untapped sense and help impulse to act. In this historic unheard terror attack, there were hundreds of sung and unsung heroes. One thing was surfaced very loudly that this 60 or 62 hour long terror saga, the whole Mumbai, the whole nation went numb. Our so called Tigers, Thackerays couldn’t even whisper. Where were their prides and glories. Our Mumbai police force fought and sacrificed their life.
They initially thought that they were fighting with some routine mafia gang or so. It was too late to realise that they were fighting with the finest dead-trained hardcore terrorists. Our NSG boys fought the terror war. But while fighting they never thought in terms of south Indians, North Indians, Biharis, or in terms of Hindu or Muslim or so. Their only mission was to save INDIA. We are ONE. Once the leisure comes, again we start thinking in terms of south, north, hindu, non-hindu and so on. Sometimes, I feel we deserve these terrorists to teach our politicians and people the true Unity of India!
Bellur’s post
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The style of writing is very familiar . Have you written guest posts for other bloggers?