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Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006

Enjoy crying…

Tears have been repressed even more deeply. It has been told to us that tears are a symptom of weakness — they are not. Tears can cleanse not only your eyes, but your heart too. They soften you, it is a biological strategy to keep you clean, to keep you unburdened. It is now a well-known fact that less women go mad than men. And the reason has been found to be that women can cry and weep more easily than men. Even to the small child it is said, “Be a man, don’t cry like a woman!”

But if you look at the physiology of your body, you have the same glands full of tears whether you are man or woman. It has been found that less women commit suicide than men. And of course, no woman in history has been the cause of founding violent religions, wars, massacres. If the whole world can learn to cry and weep again it will be a tremendous transformation, a metamorphosis.

Tears are one of the most beautiful things in the world, so enjoy them and remain fragile, because if you are fragile then you are available to god. You are soft, you are porous. You function like a sponge and god is soaked in. When you are hard, nothing enters — and we have been taught to be hard so that nothing enters. The hardness is part of our defense. We are afraid: that’s why we are hard. So when you start feeling not afraid, you become fragile.

In our society, men in particular have been taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things when they get hurt and not show that they are in pain. But women can fall into this trap too, and all of us at one time or another might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can’t be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves. This can make us frozen, rigid, because deep down we know that one small break in the ice will free the hurt to start circulating through us again.

The tears, and only the tears, have the power to melt the ice. It’s okay to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of pain, allows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.
It is fear that has made people like rocks — very stiff, hard, non-vulnerable — because they are afraid that somebody may enter, somebody’s love, and some tenderness may surface. They have been taught not to allow anything to enter, because if something enters, you are no more in control. You become pregnant, so you protect yourself.
And it is a healthy thing to cry, to weep, to laugh. Now scientists are discovering that crying, weeping, laughter, are immensely healthful; not only physically but also psychologically, they are very much capable of keeping you sane. The whole of humanity has gone a little cuckoo, for the simple reason that nobody laughs fully because all around there are people who will say, “What are you doing? Are you a child? ― at this age? What will your children think? Keep quiet!”

All that this world needs is a good cleansing of the heart of all the inhibitions of the past. Laughter and tears can do both. Tears will take out all the agony that is hidden inside you and laughter will take all that is preventing your ecstasy. Once you have learned the art you will be immensely surprised: why has this not been told up to now? There is a reason: nobody has wanted humanity to have the freshness of a rose flower and the fragrance and the beauty.

Love and lot’s of it dear ones!

Suresh

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