, , , , , ,

Photo and Poem copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006

I never knew who I am for long time
All I knew was that I was a seed
Seed of immense possibilities
Seed of Immense potential
The day I started to realize I had to open to become something
I started trembling
I did’t think I would exist for one more moment
I had soil of worms around
Wind was bad , water was less
Soil was never right, But I knew I had to survive to see my flowering
So much fear, so much darkness but I knew that I have been destined to sing
suddenly I surrendered to unknown, to soil, to wind, to water , to-sky

I felt taken
I had become pregnant
I was carrying a flower

To wait to see you achieve goal was painful, always living in dream was painful
To think about future of mine was painful
Suddenly I realised again that I am born as possibility
I do not have to do anything but surrender. Again I surrendered
To the bulge of bud
Only a flower knows the moment of bud to flower
Rest all are spectators of theory. to become flower is an experience
You need not put into words
Just one moment is enough to know all the secrets
That moment is enough to become bud to flower
I wanted to become good looking flower

I wanted to become colorful flower
But then I wanted to become god’s favourite flower
Got tired of thinking what kind of flower I should become
I cried,
I cried again and again

Coz i don’t know what kind of flower i have to become
I am thinking too much, I am desiring too much
I got tired
I just decided give up all my dreams
the moment I gave up my dreams
I suddenly realised that my dreams came true on it”s own accord
I found a key, a secret

I gave up my dreams and saw every dream becoming true
Finally I became a flower
Pregnancy was hard but worth it
I am here as flower with all fragrance , freshness
I am here dining wining with my bee girlfriends
I party under sky and I sing to winds
I am in love in-fact I am love

My lovers include people who hurt me. pluck me. and play with me
My lover’s take me to their bosoms
But I am just the same flower for everyone. I smell same for everyone
All my lover bees, sun,sky, hands, – everyone behaves their own way
some are nice and somedays are nice but somedays are bad too

But I realised that joy is in me
Joy is in my fragrance
Joy is in my being
Joy is being still and same all the time
I found everything in nothingness
Now I see my self dieing
My petals are falling down
Sun is hurting and wind is taking me apart
But I still like to sing

I want to sing one last time for my journey
I want to sing song of my death
I want to celebrate every thing as of now
I know I am part of sky that never dies
I will start again as a seed of potentiality
only to die again as a dance of eternity

I tell you a secret
Die every moment to thought and past
You are born again in present moment

I am going to die soon. I am planning to dance again
I want to dance my way to death
I am dead but I danced on my death bed.

— love my dear onesSuresh