Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006
From the very beginning a boy is told, “You are a boy, not a girl. Behave like a boy! Tears are okay for a girl, but not for you. Be manly.” So every boy goes on cutting his feminine qualities. And all that is beautiful is feminine. So finally what is left is just a barbarous animal. His whole function is to reproduce children. The girl is not allowed tohave anything with manly qualities. If she wants to climb a tree she will be stopped immediately, “This is for boys,not for girls!” Strange! If the girl has the desire to climb the tree, that is enough proof that she should be allowed.
All old societies have created different clothes for men and for women. This is not right; because each man is alsoa woman. He has come from two sources: his father and his mother. Both have contributed to his being. And each woman is also a man. We have destroyed both. The woman has lost all courage, adventure, reasoning, logic,because those are thought to be the qualities of a man. And the man has lost grace, sensitivity, compassion,kindness. Both have become half. This is one of the greatest problems we have to solve — at least for our people.
You need to be both: half man, half woman. That will make them richer. They will have all the qualities
that are available to human beings, not only half. At the point of being, you simply have a fragrance of lovingness. what you think of as love will be gone, but what will come in its place is immense, infinite. You will be able to love without being attached. You will be able to love many people because to love one person is to keep yourself poor. That one person can give a certain experience of love, but to love many people….
You will be amazed that every person gives you a new feeling, a new song, a new ecstasy. Hence, I am concerned about marriage. In my vision, marriages in the commune should be dissolved. People can live together their whole life if they want, but that is not a legal necessity. People should be moving, having as many experiences of love as possible. They should not be possessive. Possessiveness destroys love. And they should not be possessed, because that again destroys your love.
You fall in love with a woman or a man. Can you exactly describe why this woman attracted you? Certainly you cannot see her self, you have not seen your own self yet. You cannot see her psychology either, because to read somebody’s mind is not an easy job. So what have you found in the woman? Something in your physiology, in your chemistry, in your hormones, is attracted to the woman’s hormones, her physiology, her chemistry. This is not a love affair; this is a chemical affair.
Just think: the woman you have fallen in love with goes to our doctor, gets her sex changed, starts growing a
beard and mustache. Will you be still loving her? Nothing has changed, only chemistry, hormones. Where has your love gone?
Only one percent of people know a little bit deeper. Poets, painters, musicians, dancers, singers have a sensitivity that they can feel beyond the body. They can feel the beauties of the mind, the sensitivities of the heart, because they live on that plane themselves.
Poets are known, artists are known to fall in love almost every day. Their love is like a roseflower. While it is
there it is so fragrant, so alive, dancing in the wind, in the rain, in the sun, asserting its beauty. But by the evening it may be gone, and you cannot do anything to prevent it. The deeper love of the heart is just like a breeze that comes into your room, brings its freshness, coolness, and then it is gone. You cannot catch hold of the wind in your fist.
Stop this nonsense about Love. Don’t try to define it. Don’t say I am going to fall in love with only women or men. Just open your heart and fall in love with rivers, wind, flowers, Men and women.
You can fall in love only when you live with head. The moment you start living with heart -You will discover there is only love. Meditation is a way to move from head to heart. Meditation gives birth to fountain of love. With meditation you arrive home.
Love and lot’s of it dear ones