Photo copyright Suresh Gundappa 2006
Jokes are not simple phenomena; they are really mysterious, their mechanism is mysterious. You don’t know how a joke works, how it goes deep into your depths, how it brings laughter to you, how it brings wakefulness to you. The mechanism is mysterious.
A joke functions almost like a sexual orgasm. It is not accidental that many jokes ARE concerned with sex. Jokes as such are basically sexual for the simple reason that the joke creates a build-up of energy in you, a great curiosity about what is going to happen, because a joke is a joke only when something unexpected happens, when it takes such a sudden turn that logically you could not have conceived it; it was inconceivable. And it takes the turn so quickly and so suddenly that it does not give you time enough to think about it. Because there is no time to think – Mind needs time. The joke goes on towards the south and then suddenly turns towards the north: your mind goes on moving towards the south, but the joke has taken a turn towards the north so suddenly that the mind halts. In that very halt there is an experience of silence, of meditation.
The same happens in sexual orgasm: a certain energy is built up in you, a certain tension is built up in you. You go on moving upwards, upwards, upwards, and then comes a sudden relaxation, a sudden release. It is so sudden — it happens in a single moment — the mind stops, the mind disappears for a moment. It is not conceivable for the mind. The mind needs time.
If you understand the joke you will miss the whole point. If you can understand where it is going, what the logical end of it will be, then it will not be a joke for you. Whatsoever you understand from the very beginning is not going to be the end; the end is going to be absolutely unpredictable. That’s the beauty of a joke; it shocks you, shakes you, it wakes you up. It is impossible to remain asleep when a beautiful joke is being told.
Laughter is needed for you to exist. Otherwise, you will commit suicide.
“Now try to understand the mechanism of laughter and how it happens. If I tell a joke, why do you laugh? What makes you laugh? What happens? What is the inner mechanism? If I tell a joke expectation is created. You start expecting. Your mind starts searching for what the end will be. And you cannot conceive the end.
“A joke moves in two dimensions. First it moves in a logical dimension. You can conceive it. If the joke goes on logically to the very end, it will cease to be a joke; there will be no laughter. So suddenly the joke takes a turn and becomes so illogical that you cannot conceive it. And when the joke takes a turn and the result becomes illogical; then the expectation, the tension that was created in you, suddenly explodes. You relax. Laughter comes out.Man is bored. Hence he needs laughter. The more bored, the more laughter he will need. Otherwise, he cannot exist.
Ruthie Finkelstein is lying on her deathbed. “Moishe,” she murmurs to her husband sitting beside the bed, “I must make a confession before I go. The fact is, I have been unfaithful to you.”
“I know,” says Moishe quietly.
“I don’t think you understand,” pleads Ruthie. “What I mean is that I have been with another man.”
“Yes, I know that,” Moishe murmurs.
“Not just once,” continues Ruthie, “but lots of times – in his office, in his house…”
“Yes, I know that dear,” says Moishe soothingly.
“Even in this house, in this very bed!” cries Ruthie.
“Yes, I know,” whispers Moishe. “That’s why I put rat poison in your tea.”
The O’Learys are touring
India and one day Paddy finds that he has left his watch in the hotel. He has been photographing an elephant with his trainer, so he asks the trainer what the time is.
The man slowly reaches out and takes hold of the elephant’s balls, shifts them slightly and says, “It’s five to one.”
“My God!” gasps Paddy. “That’s incredible. Wait, I want to fetch my wife.” A few minutes later, Paddy comes racing back with Maureen and again asks the time. The man reaches out, cups the elephant’s balls as though weighing them, then moves them to one side and declares, “It is three minutes past one.”
“Fantastic!” cries Maureen, checking he watch. Paddy digs a hundred-dollar bill out of his pocket and offers it to the Indian if he will show them how he tells the time. The man shrugs and folds the money in his dhoti. He motions the O’Learys to kneel beside him. They hold their breath as the man once again cups the elephant’s balls in his hands. Moving them to one side, he says, “Now do you see that clock over there?”
Old man Chester Cheese, aged 85, went to the sperm bank to make a deposit. The young woman at the reception was skeptical. “Are you sure that you want to do this?” she asked.
“Yes,” said old
Chester, “I feel it is my duty to give something from myself to the world.”
The woman gave him a jar and directed him to a room down the hall. When thirty minutes had passed and he did not return, the girl began to worry that he might have had a heart attack.. But just then the old man came out of the room and approached the woman.
“Listen,” he said, “I tried it with one hand, then I tried it with two hands, then I got it up and hit it on the sink, then I ran warm water on it, then cold water over it… and I still can’t get the lid of the jar open!”
One day Lupo is walking home when he notices a huge gorilla standing on the roof of his house. Not knowing what to do about it he looks in the phone book under Gorilla Removals. Then he calls up George’s Get Lost Gorilla Service and explains the situation.
Ten minutes later George arrives with a banana, a bulldog, a butterfly net, a ladder and a loaded gun.
“Okay,” says George, “it is quite a simple thing. I am gonna throw the banana at the gorilla, and while he is busy eating it, I am gonna climb up the ladder and push him off the roof.
“Then the bulldog is trained to grab him by the nuts, and when the gorilla holds himself in pain, you throw this butterfly net over him”
“Great!” shouts Lupo, with enthusiasm.
“But what about the gun?”
“Well,” explains George, “if I miss the gorilla and fall off the roof myself, you shoot the dog!”
Hamish McTavish walks into an appliance store and asks the price of a remote-controlled TV.
“One dollar,” replies the clerk.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” says Hamish.
“Listen,” says the clerk, “do you want it or not?” Of course, Hamish gives him the dollar.
On his way out of the store, he sees a big refrigerator. “How much for that?” asks Hamish.
“Fifty cents,” replies the clerk.
Hamish pulls out fifty cents and gives it to the clerk. “What the hell is going on here?” he asks.
“Nothing is going on here,” replies the clerk. “But my boss is at my house with my wife and what he is doing to her, I am doing to his business.”
Love and lots of it dear ones